Winter Blooming

Winter Flowers, originally uploaded by levari.

Gypsy of My Mind

Strange beds:
some made perfectly, some sheetless,
some just a dirty matress on the floor;
these were always my favorite ones.

Strange rooms:
Some shag carpeted, some bare and wood,
some colorful, some warm in winter,
some with the
paint crumbling effortlessly
forming a pile
of unswept chip dust in the corner,
waiting for months on end.

Strange windows:
of varying shapes and sizes,
some with curtains and blinds and beads,
other cracked and bare,
missing shards of glass
in the middle,
but all of them looking
out onto
the forever changing landscapes
that marks the time here
as much as anything else
I have ever known.

Strange faces and bodies
that I have called
friends, family, lovers, and yes, enemies;

and always the strange face
in the mirror
in the bathroom
that was never
quite mine;

perhaps I am guility of looking
too hard, too often.

Without trying
I have walked through many doorways
I never expected to,
but I never really entered the inside
on the other side.

I got caught,
side-tracked
somewhere in the between.

Moments came
and I lived
with the certainty
that this was it.

But now I've given up
that kind of thinking, or,
rather, feeling;

I no longer make paintings
in red and blue and white.

And so tonight
another bed
another room
another body
of this life
is waiting for me
to finish up what I'm doing
in here
and close the door.

Somebody else's rug
somebody else's photos,
lamp, a clock...

But my own relief
for I know my role,
I've written this play
before.

And just before
she turns out the light
I suddenly can feel them:

An impermanent blanket
filled with my vertigo
and awe that she's
wrapped around me,

And the ocean
of someone else's dream
breaking inside
the pillow
beneath our heads.

7/15/06 - Longport, New Jersey
1/28/07 - Los Angeles

Are we all just...

megan 8:07 (2), originally uploaded by levari.

...history in the making
to each other?

Infamy of Between

Between all the nights
that moan

You throw away
and you're thrown

There's no such thing
as home

But where you choose
to roam.

Between all the seeds
outgrown,

Between all our faces
unknown,

Between all the nights
that moan,

You once knew a place
called home.

Now
there's nothing
to do
but go
straight on
till morning,

when the dawn breaks
and the landscape
suddenly
begins

forming.

Long ago
I watched you
jump over
sidewalk puddles,

that was before I
dropped you
between all of our
riddles.

I once left you,
but you were already gone;

I once came back to you,
but you were already gone.

Between all the nights
that moan,

you throw away
and your thrown,

so many seeds
outgrown,

there was
a shadow
between puddles
and riddles

that we once called home.


L.A. 1/27/07

Bury Me Standing...

The Gypsy Mind, originally uploaded by levari.

...with my gypsy mind.

Rain Collecting On Bare Branches

This restless rain

That mirror insane

One part wine two parts brain

No use for all your cries of shame...

I don't care what anyone says,
there are no rules to this game.

1/27/07

Live Your Life Like A Tragic Song...

Valerie2, originally uploaded by levari.

... Poisonous Flowers Bloom Far Too Long...

Stripes

You take to give,
murder to live

you changed, you changed, you changed...
you couldn't help it.

Wouldn't look back
until it was way to soon,

hid your spare change
in the corner of her room.

So arrogantly
you mocked
all the eyes
you were given,

laughing to the dust
about all that was never,
shouldn't and isn't.

You
take to give,

murder to live,

you
changed,
changed,
changed

how could you help it?

And how many
slid down
the throat
before you?

And how many
jumped
into the fire
that you knew
could never
burn you?

You learned too early
to swim in
the leaves
collecting outside
your autumn window,

you showed everyone
your empty nerve endings,

but no one believed you...

It takes to live,

still

I keep murdering to give

I changed, I changed, I changed...
I never could help it.

L.A. - 1/26/07