Kitai (Protection)

Kitai, originally uploaded by levari.

"Nothing matters except pleasure--which is the opposite of happiness; it's the tragic part, I expect."

-Lawrence Durrell

Boy

If you look closely
you can see him disappearing

(few ever do for
beauty does
seem to have
that effect.)

He does not mind, though,
not like he thought he would.

He does not mind,
it does not hurt his pride
to be the center of attention
in this way.

He does not mind,
he has watched others
and studied well...

-some with grace
-some without
-some he loved
-some he pretended to love (for reasons he still cannot quite understand)
-some he did not even try

With all this experience
he did not mind,
and pretended to disappear
with nothing more
than his own signature.

He did not mind,
it was easy
even without a working pen.

He did not mind,
he would not return
this much he knew
was right now.

No promise,
no seed planted,

Just his body,

Just his eyes,
and the impermananet edges
of them seperating him
out.

Just his position
at the center of the universe,

that small and meaningless stage,
with his happiness and hatred, finally.

But every once in a while
he does have an urge
he cannot explain:

He wants to tell them all.

He knows he should, could;

He knows now he can say it
without nostalgia,

as the parasites
gather
around his empty shell,

he wants to tell them
how he is finally fearless---
and crumbling.

Los Angeles - 7/28/07

Buddy - Los Angeles, 1/18/08 - Alterations And Repairs

IMG_0216, originally uploaded by levari.

Birthday Letters

Birthday Letter, originally uploaded by levari.

The Realist Manifesto

"Language was invented to hide one's thoughts."

-Talleyrand

You

I'm in the clutches of the living
even if it will never be
quite right.

So let the daylight have its formality
as long as you become my myth
tonight.

9/21/07

figure - Winter, 06

figure painting - Winter, 06, originally uploaded by levari.

"The point is, art is something subversive. It's something that should not be free. Art and liberty, like the fire of Prometheus, are things one must steal, to be used against the established order. Once art becomes official and open to everyone, then it becomes academic. If art is ever given the keys to the city, it will be because it's been so watered down, rendered so impotent, that it's not worth fighting for...So this business about art defending or freeing culture is absurd. One can defend culture in a broad, general sense, if you mean by the heritage of the past, but the right to free expression is something one seizes, not something one is given."

-Picasso

To The Notebooks (17 Years)

meaningless history,
clouded photography,

attempts at nobility,
natural instinct for idiocy,

tossed off drawings,
the blade of reality,

studied lies,
fumbling towards honesty,

infinite pretense,
the sometimes redeeming gift of creativity,

endless violence,
bottomless delicacy,

the hole,
the ecstasy,

noble cowardice, stupid bravery,

infallible fallibility,

all the enemies,
friends,
loves,
family,

and the only proof of this residency
I've tried to record,

(for some reason
I still can't understand,)

ever so faithfully.

Los Angeles 3/1/07

#1

#1, originally uploaded by levari.