4/14/10

fragment

-you've been down here for a while, don't you think?
-yeah.
-you think maybe it's time to go up, back to the world.
-why?
-i don't know, sunlight, y'know. sunlight's a good thing. vitamins and shit. vitamin b, i think, or maybe it's vitamin d. scurvy? no scurvy? i don't fucking know. sunlight.
-i'm not so interested in sunlight right now.
-i noticed.
-look.
-what?
-i don't know. trains.
-trains?
-just trains, hear them? they all look alike. i've been watching them every night. some have more grafitti than others, but they all look alike. they just truck along, back and forth. that's all they do.
-what the Hell were you expecting?
-i don't know. nothing else to look at.
-something's supposed to change here.
-what?
-don't know.
-why? why should it change?
-because that's life. change.
-it doesn't feel like anything is changing right now.
-that's just now.
-what if now is forever?
-you're just going through something.
-i know that. you don't have to tell me that.
-it's true.
-say it.
-what?
-what i'm going through.
-come on.
-come on what? just say it.
-you say it. why do i have to say it?
-i know it, but i don't know if you know. so you say it.
-god damn you. i'm here to help you. i'm here to get you out from under this bridge with all these fucking junkies and lunatics and psycopaths and maniacs.
-they're not so bad. they leave me be.
-she was my sister, y'know. she was my sister too. it wasn't just you...
-i'm sorry.
-it's okay.
-i am. i'm not. i am. no, really i'm not.
-i should leave you here.
-i just want to sit here. i'm so tired. i'm so tired. i've never felt so tired in my life. is this what it's like to feel old?
-no.
-why not?
-because you can get untired, if you get yourself right, if you clean up, if you haven't killed yourself. if you get yourself some sunlight for starters. when you're old sunlight doesn't help much. nothing does.
-i'm so tired. what am i supposed to do with all this.
-it's been a month.
-really? a month is a lifetime.
-come on. come home with me. you can sleep there. you can sleep in the studio. the room's soundproofed.
-maybe you could soundproof my mind.

-3/14/08